The Sins of Susan
by frolicks.with.froggies
Summary: We all make mistakes, have vices, go down the wrong paths. Sin. Susan especially.
1. Pride

**Pride**

They always called her a silly girl. Even in Narnia when it was expected of Susan to keep up appearances and look the part of a Queen they called her silly. Vain.

Lucy would always shake her head at the hours Susan spent before the Vanity. Peter and Edmund honestly did not know how much work the Gentle Queen put into being beautiful. Susan took pride in her beauty though. It wasn't something she would ever compromise on.

Peter was High King, the Great King. Magnificent.

Edmund was Just, the one who everyone stopped to listen to. His judgment was the same as law.

Lucy was the favorite of the people, Valiant and brave. So unlike Susan herself. Susan was afraid, and it was easy to convince Susan to stay away from battlefields.

Susan was not beloved like Lucy, or admired like Peter, or listened to like Edmund. All Susan was, even ordained by Aslan, was gentle.

Gentle…

It was a useless term. Who loved the gentle Queen? Who wanted gentle when you could have lovely Lucy, the Valiant one?

So Susan became beautiful.

Beauty made her desired by every King, Prince, Duke, or Knight in the land. Beauty was what wars were fought over. It was Susan's beauty that caused the world to stop and everyone focus on her.

Susan's beauty was her mantel, it was everything that made her great. She took no greater pride in herself than how she looked in that vanity mirror.

Even after she returned to the real world, Susan would not let go of her beauty. She worked to obtain the same level of loveliness that she portrayed in Narnia. The hard part was, she never seemed to get close.  
Her skin was never smooth enough

Her eyes never bright enough

Her hair was never lustrous enough.

It seemed that the kind of beauty Susan remembered having was only in dreams. It didn't exist anymore.

When exiled from Narnia, Susan was also exiled from the full extent of beauty she had once achieved. It would be a Herculean task to achieve those same levels of looks.

But Susan wanted nothing more than to be beautiful. She was no second rate Queen, even in Finchley.

After all, a Queen must have her pride.


	2. Gluttony

**Gluttony**

Susan can remember well the food of Narnia.

The rich custards and decadent cakes. The roasts of pork cooked so perfectly, with fat glistening around every piece. Sautéed vegetables, candied fruits, and goodness the Mead and Wines! Every bite a delight, every sip a pleasure.

Living around those things for so long really wasn't good for Susan. Not for her health, and especially not for her waist line.

It hadn't really affected the others. Peter and Edmund trained every day for hours and were growing boys. They could eat the castle out of hearth and home if they really put their minds to it. Lucy struggled of course, she exercised some, but not enough to stop pounds from sticking. When all was said and done Lucy was a little plump. Rounded in a way that made her soft and merry looking.

Susan was not soft though. Well yes, she was. But in a feminine way that didn't involve losing her glorious waist or her perfectly shaped legs. This was her vanity talking, and Susan couldn't gain weight.

When she first noticed that a favorite gown didn't fit quite right anymore, Susan decided that she wouldn't eat as much. She would abstain from the sweets and the fattening meats. She would eat vegetables and fruit that wasn't candied.

It was just so hard.

The feeling of longing that would settle in her breast was too much to handle at times. She'd find herself having such horrible cravings that she couldn't sleep. The thoughts of cake would dance in her head and she just had to have one.

It became a secret of Susan's.

She would sneak down into the kitchens at night and find whatever it was she was craving. Then she would gorge herself with it. Eating entire cakes or whole pies. Cleaning off an entire suckling pig. It was disgusting. What was left after her midnight feasts was nothing but shame.

She was so weak.

She would think of her figure (her beautiful perfect figure) and it would bring her to tears every time. The tears motivated her to do something equally horrible, she would purge the entirety of what she had eaten out of her body. Leaving a mess behind in her chamber pot.

The maids never mentioned it.

The cook never mentioned the missing food.

Her siblings only thought Susan had incredible self-control. They didn't know her horrible secret.

On her return to the real world Susan hoped that things would change. After all, the food wasn't nearly so grand.

The cravings did not leave her though. Susan found that she would gorge herself on even more food, attempting to satisfy a craving that would never be sated. Nothing compared to the delicacies that she had partaken of in Narnia. She ate more and more hoping that quantity would fulfill her over the quality. It didn't help, and her problem just got worse. Susan purged more and more food every night.

Susan was sick, and her desire for the delicious foods of Narnia was never sated.


End file.
